The human capacity to love.

I would have to say that this week was incredibly difficult. I sometimes do not know how to deal with what is happening in life and what might eventually happen. Or maybe things will work themselves out and we will be in the so called, "up and out" I truly believe that ones capacity to love and be loved is so large that at times it hurts to fill. I don't always know the right way to love. Should I keep pursuing something I feel to be slipping away? Of course not due to my own choosing. Change, change is the one thing to blame. Busieness is another, along with success. In today's world society thrives on greed. Greed is stemmed from success and TOO much money and the yearn for much more than what is needed. Where do you draw the line. When is something too much. How do you know you have out stepped your limit on what is on your plate? Is it when your life is no longer passing you by, its running you over? Or is it when you try so hard to achieve the world but in achieving and accomplishing you loose what is most dear to you, YOUR LIFE AND THOSE YOU LOVE. Sometimes I feel like I should just move away and find out where I really should be and what I should be doing with life. Other times I just want to know that I wont get hurt again, that I can trust and be trusted. I do not always feel as if I am completely confident in who I am and who I pursue. I have been so hurt in the past that the one thing that holds me back from really letting someone know me is the fear of rejection. I have heard many times, " I love you and would never hurt you." But yah know... No matter how sincere someone might be with those words, they never stay true. Maybe its the fact that I am easily hurt, who knows? (sigh)
All I know is that its is almost the start of another week, a week for trial and tribulation, and a week to start a new. This week will be brighter I hope. I pray that God can give me strength because I have learned that human love is not enough. I need more. However, when I say I want MORE, it really means that I want someone to share the MORE with me. Is there anyone out there that will understand me enough, and love me enough to want MORE with me. To walk with me side by side and say, "I will hold your hand and help you along, as long as you help me also! " I want a HELPMATE! I NEED ONE!
The someone I want seems to be moving farther and farther away from really knowing me! Please, if you really want this, I need you to understand everything there is to know, I want questions asked and questions answered. I want to lay beneath the stars and tell my deepest passions to you. I want you to do the same. I WANT TO BE THAT MIRROR IMAGE! Will you help me. I miss you. I love you.
ALWAYS YOURS.
Lindsey